Working mommy status

Well, the day is almost here. 

Tomorrow I again enter the world of working mommy. 

Had our circumstances been different I would absolutely love nothing more than to stay home with my boys every single day until they were in full time school. Having morning netflix snuggles with B and afternoon naptime snuggles with L are two of my greatest joys in life. No longer will my days be filled with sand, cartoons and toddler laughter. In my new day time world it's all fluorescent lights, computer screens and the clicking of keyboards. 

I do have quite a few ladies I'm looking forward to break times with. My job itself is not awful. But nothing will ever be better than my Monday meetings with a curly haired two year old or watching my baby discovering walking and climbing stairs. 

Believe me! I know, that I'm not the only one. Many families are unable to live on one income. This doesn't make me feel better, it just makes me also sad for the other moms who wish to stay home. 

Please don't preech how it's all about sacrifice to stay home. I've thoroughly looked into it, if I could I would. Unfortunately our past spending habits and hard times have put us far enough in the hole that one income just won't get us out quite yet. 

So tomorrow I'll wake up, get ready, drop my boys off at day home, and rejoin the working world.

It will be an adjustment. I know I'll be fine. But having life exactly how you always wished it would be and then having to step away from that is difficult. I'm looking into some at home businesses which hopefully will help me earn more money to bring me closer to home with my loves. It's all one small step at a time. 

Be who you want to be

When you are growing up you're always asked who you want to be when your older. Some kids say doctors, lawyers, princesses and dragons. As you get older your asked again and the question becomes more serious. 

Truth: I'm 26 and still have NO idea what I want to DO. 

BUT, who do I want to BE? That's easy. I want to be a good friend. I enjoy being the one people can trust when they have a problem. I want to be a good person. I want to help where I can. I want to be a good mother. Someone my kids can always turn to for advice and guidance. I want to be a good role model for them and the other kids in my life. I want to be a good wife. Loving and understanding with the strength to stand on my own two feet but more than willing to hand over the reigns. I want to be remembered as someone people cared about. I want to love without holding back. I chose to be all of these things and so so mun more. This is who I want to BE. 

I hope the same for my children. I hope their nice. I hope their generous. I hope their thpughtful. I hope they are good partners and friends. I hope they are good fathers one day I hope that they learn from me to treat others with respect and kindness. I hope they are selfish enough to know when to put themselves first and humble enough to know that others have needs greater than theirs. I hope they know that nobody could possibly love them more that their mommy does each and every second of every day. 

Who are you? Who do you want to be?