The Crack

As most moms can attest, within the first few weeks of a new baby you have at least one night where you break. Your exhausted, baby refuses to sleep, but won't stop crying. They are fed, changed warm cuddled and no matter what you do they just won't sleep. So you do what the rest of us do, cry. Man does that cry feel amazing! 

Well my break was stolen from me. My tiny love was in the hospital so I didn't have the constant newborn + toddler the first two weeks of his life. I wish everyday that I had but I'm happy he's healthy and home. 

Well today first thing Brycen peed on the floor. I cleaned it up and made breakfast while he tried to grab everything out of my kitchen he shouldn't touch. I was so tired I felt nauseous. Brycen went for a nap after lunch and so did Lucas and I. Brycen needed to poop and wouldn't. 

I was tired, dealing with a 23mo potty trainer who is curious and adventurous and I just started losing my mind. I was exhausted. I finally begged hubby to hurry home after work, he took over toddler duty and I lied in bed and rested with Lucas who was content. I felt like crying and wanted to break but I just cracked a little. I know that potty training is a lot to lean and adjust to. I know that my son is not even 2 yet and is doing an amazing job. But today I was getting frustrated so I knew I needed to step back. I needed to regroup because my frustrations were not Mr B's fault.

As a parent I think its important we take these moments. Our kids depend on us to nurture and take care of them: all of them, not just physically but mentally as well. I do my best to smile when I'm sad so that my boys can grow up in a positive household. I crack and Hubby and I argue but we get over it. 

I've mentioned before I love Brycens creativity. I love that he has a rebel streak because it means he pushes the bounds and continues to grow. He's fearless! But today because I was tired I was frustrated. Neither of those things were B's fault. When its not our babies fault we need to make sure it doesn't become their problem either. We need to step back and calm down. Walk away for a minute or have them play in their room for a minute. Take a caregiver break. 

The best advice I've heard us out yourself in their shoes. They aren't doing things because they want to annoy us. Why are they doing it? Are we not paying attention so thy are looking for a reaction. Do they need reassurance or love from us? Maybe they just need our attention or for us to sit and read a 5min story to tell them that in all our rushing around they MATTER. 

I'm writing this after another 12am feesing with an early morning wake up call so ill semi pretend to edit in the morning if I remember. But you all need to remember; its ok to break, crack, rattle. We're human and raising tiny people is hard work. We all have a line and we just need to make sure we take time to strengthen our mind so we can handle day after day of accidents, crying newborns, messes, screaming toddlers. We all get there :)