I have been blessed with a very easy to handle baby. I know that I'm lucky because he doesn't cry often. When he does he has a reason(wet,hungry,tired). However I strongly believe part of my success has been about developing a routine.
I'm not saying schedule your baby around the clock. That's absurd and completely unrealistic. However some routine will greatly help you and your baby out. The first month I wouldn't suggest even trying. You are their b**** and they know it. The trick is to slowly take some of the control back without them noticing. With my son it was bedtime.
I am nursing and I was exhausted. He would sleep 3-4hrs at a time from midnight-noon. This meant zero time for my husband much less myself.
Bedtime was a little hard establish so young, but I started making our bed time routine start at 7pm. We would bath if it was bath night, change him, lotion him, get him in a sleeper and start feeding him.
I make sure to feed min 15 min if he falls asleep I'll burp him and switch sides trying to get a min 30mim feed in. Once he falls asleep the second time id put him in his crib and stay in the room until he slept.
I have a dimmer light in his room so i wont kill myself when hes waking up or blinding him in the middle of the night. This helped so much! No matter how much he cried or fussed the light never turned up and we never left the room so he learned that when the lights are dark that means its sleep time. It worked for us. It took a while though. I remember one day during the first two weeks he was up until 10pm! Gah I was soooooooo tired but I didn't give in and now every night he has the same bed time.
Trust me I know how hard this can be to maintain but so important. If I'm out visiting I need to leave by 6pm to make sure he's home in time and not sleeping in the car to come home and immediately start bed time. The twice I messed with the routine not getting home and starting bedtime until 8-830 was enough to not do it again. It took DAYS to get him back on schedule. . The second time it took almost a week!
The benefits FAR outweigh the hassles . First off bedtimes give you time for yourself! You can read or just relax or spend some quality time with your partner :). It also gives you more stability with your day. Same bed time leads to approximate same time getting up! I get more sleep, my son gets more sleep and I feel less stresses during the day.
You can plan to do things without being worried of you'll still be sleeping. My son also started sleeping longer. Part of that was age but part of it I feel was because he knew it was bed time. :)
Another benefit I find is I will be going back to work for a bit after my year of maternity is up. Having an early bedtime now means when the time comes I won't have to change his routine because he is already on the one that will need to continue for once we have to get up for daycare and work.
A few of my mommy friends tried it after hearing about how successful it was for us and can't believe they didn't do it sooner.
All babies/parents routines and needs are different so find what works for you but I highly recommend trying a set bedtime. :)
Thursday, 16 February 2012
Monday, 13 February 2012
My Term Pregnancy
So we left off with me just having a miscarriage after two years, surgery, and fertility drugs.
(tmi time)I dont know how many of you know this but when a woman ovulates she will have a thicker almost slimy discharge. Well I do know this so, two weeks after I miscarried I ovulated. I discussed with my fiancé and we decided to start trying again then instead of waiting the additional 4 weeks. If the doctor said I'd be physically ready then I needed to know that hadn't been my only shot at being a mommy. I felt scared and desperate that it would never happen. To be clear to this day I will grieve the loss of my very first baby, but I couldn't give up on being a mommy.
Two and a half weeks later I found out we were pregnant again! I didn't tell a single person. I was so scared after last time that I kept my little secret. I was getting married two weeks later and I just wanted to focus on that and keep my baby safe. A few days after I found out I was pregnant I started to spot. I was terrified it was happening again. We went to the doctor and had an ultrasound done. Thankfully everything was fine. First trimester bleeding is semi normal and often harmless.
Because of the bleeding, I relaxed, did almost nothing except work and finish wedding details. Between weeks 4-9 of my pregnancy I had 4 ultrasounds done due to bleeding the doctor wanting to keep checking the baby. I had blood work done every 3 days to monitor my HCG levels. Finally at exactly 12 weeks I stopped bleeding and told everyone I was pregnant.
Now I had been through a lot more than most to get where I was and I wasn't taking anything for granted. I was/am so thankful for what I've been given. I tried very hard my whole pregnancy not to complain about anything because it all meant I had a little miracle growing inside me.... Then the itching started.
At around 25-26 weeks I began getting REALLY itchy. It started with my belly, so I thought ok it's just growing. Cream seemed to help a bit so if i got itchy I would just go to the bathroom at work or home and lotion my belly up. Then it moved to my arms and legs and worst if all my feet. I found myself constantly scratching! Some times I would scratch my legs so bad they would bleed a bit! When I say I tried not to complain I mean I REALLY tried not to complain but this itching was driving me crazy! I felt like I was being tortured. It was so bad some nights I couldn't sleep until my husband coated my entire body in extra strength gold bond medicated cream. But if I didn't fall asleep before the burning wore off we had to do it all over again. I had seen my doctor around 25 weeks and not said anything when it was just my tummy. I talked to my friends and family and they said that it was normal and I'd just have to live with it. I didn't believe they understood how bad it was! Finally by my next appointment at 29weeks I couldn't take it anymore! I told my doctor. (****Note to anyone pregnant, if it doesn't seem right don't listen to your friends, TELL YOUR DOCTOR, if they blow it off but you still don't feel right TELL THEM AGAIN! You know your body best!**) Thankfully my doctor listened the first time, he gave me a form for blood work and told me I do it on my way home. This was a Wednesday and he said it would take a few days to get the results. Thursday afternoon I was called at work by the office and told I needed to go to the hospital for more tests as some if my enzyme levels were not looking good. I was admitted into he hospital and monitored for 3 days. I was diagnosed with cholestasis. This is a condition that causes your liver enzymes to increase. If, with medication, they can't get your enzymes under control, your health is at risk and they may need to deliver your baby immediately. I was 30 weeks pregnant. My doctor informed me that I would probably have to deliver my baby between 34-36 weeks. This condition normally doesn't show up until around 36 weeks so when they have to do an early delivery you are already considered almost full term.
At the time I was told I would be delivering by 36 weeks at the latest but if they couldn't get my liver enzymes down hey would have to induce me immediately. While in the hospital I was given two steroid shots to help develop my son's lungs incase early arrival was my only option. They also started me on medication to try and get me better. Here is something I didn't mention, cholestasis is vey rare, it affects less than 1% of pregnant Canadians. So in the hospital I was an oddity. I was talked about because I had something they didn't see every day. I didnt mind though because it meant they were watching me and my baby closely as its something they didn't usually deal with so took no chances.
The medication worked! I was allowed I go home but was put on bed rest. We didn't know when I would have to deliver my baby but my liver enzymes dropping meant I could carry him longer and longer. I was going for blood work daily at first and by the end weekly.
At 35 weeks my enzymes were at a safe level and I was 1-2cm dilated on my own so my doctor said not to worry I would probably go into labor myself without being induced! I was so excited as I had been planning to have my baby by 36 weeks since I'd been in the hospital. The following week my baby still wasn't here so I thought ok I'm 36 weeks now they have to induce me! I was so excited to meet my baby and finally have him out where it seemed to be safer than inside. However my exam showed I was 2-3cm now so any day my doctor said. He was leaving on holidays in 3 days so I did everything I could find to get my baby out(except castor oil). Still nothing! My 37 week appointment I was 37w 5d so I was anxious.
At 38wks 4days I was full of so many emotions. I was nervous for my baby's health. I was excited I would soon get to hold him. I was frustrated because, thinking I was delivering at 36 weeks made me feel almost 3 weeks over due. My doctors replacement decided because of my anxiety he would do a membrane sweep. Just an FYI to anyone considering it, some women swear by this but know that it HURTS! Also in my case it didn't work My baby was supposed to be here already! My husband decided to go for a walk that night to try and coax our son out. OH MY GOODNESS! After about 10 blocks I got the worst stomach cramp I couldn't walk any further! It hurt so bad! My husband had to go home and get the car and even though I knew it wasn't labor we went to the hospital to get checked out.
Well at the hospital they were a little concerned I hadn't been booked in for an induction yet but did a no stress test and at 1am Friday they let me go home but asked that I come back Saturday for another no stress test. Saturday I was 38 weeks 6 days. Everything looked fine but the doctor on call said cholestasis made her nervous so she said they were going to induce me! FINALLY! Thank goodness I kept my baby bag in my car! I was soooo happy! They started the drugs to induce labor at 1045am and at 4:10 the next morning my son was finally here!
My little miracle rainbow baby had finally arrived. He was healthy beautiful and 7lb5oz of perfection.
(tmi time)I dont know how many of you know this but when a woman ovulates she will have a thicker almost slimy discharge. Well I do know this so, two weeks after I miscarried I ovulated. I discussed with my fiancé and we decided to start trying again then instead of waiting the additional 4 weeks. If the doctor said I'd be physically ready then I needed to know that hadn't been my only shot at being a mommy. I felt scared and desperate that it would never happen. To be clear to this day I will grieve the loss of my very first baby, but I couldn't give up on being a mommy.
Two and a half weeks later I found out we were pregnant again! I didn't tell a single person. I was so scared after last time that I kept my little secret. I was getting married two weeks later and I just wanted to focus on that and keep my baby safe. A few days after I found out I was pregnant I started to spot. I was terrified it was happening again. We went to the doctor and had an ultrasound done. Thankfully everything was fine. First trimester bleeding is semi normal and often harmless.
Because of the bleeding, I relaxed, did almost nothing except work and finish wedding details. Between weeks 4-9 of my pregnancy I had 4 ultrasounds done due to bleeding the doctor wanting to keep checking the baby. I had blood work done every 3 days to monitor my HCG levels. Finally at exactly 12 weeks I stopped bleeding and told everyone I was pregnant.
Now I had been through a lot more than most to get where I was and I wasn't taking anything for granted. I was/am so thankful for what I've been given. I tried very hard my whole pregnancy not to complain about anything because it all meant I had a little miracle growing inside me.... Then the itching started.
At around 25-26 weeks I began getting REALLY itchy. It started with my belly, so I thought ok it's just growing. Cream seemed to help a bit so if i got itchy I would just go to the bathroom at work or home and lotion my belly up. Then it moved to my arms and legs and worst if all my feet. I found myself constantly scratching! Some times I would scratch my legs so bad they would bleed a bit! When I say I tried not to complain I mean I REALLY tried not to complain but this itching was driving me crazy! I felt like I was being tortured. It was so bad some nights I couldn't sleep until my husband coated my entire body in extra strength gold bond medicated cream. But if I didn't fall asleep before the burning wore off we had to do it all over again. I had seen my doctor around 25 weeks and not said anything when it was just my tummy. I talked to my friends and family and they said that it was normal and I'd just have to live with it. I didn't believe they understood how bad it was! Finally by my next appointment at 29weeks I couldn't take it anymore! I told my doctor. (****Note to anyone pregnant, if it doesn't seem right don't listen to your friends, TELL YOUR DOCTOR, if they blow it off but you still don't feel right TELL THEM AGAIN! You know your body best!**) Thankfully my doctor listened the first time, he gave me a form for blood work and told me I do it on my way home. This was a Wednesday and he said it would take a few days to get the results. Thursday afternoon I was called at work by the office and told I needed to go to the hospital for more tests as some if my enzyme levels were not looking good. I was admitted into he hospital and monitored for 3 days. I was diagnosed with cholestasis. This is a condition that causes your liver enzymes to increase. If, with medication, they can't get your enzymes under control, your health is at risk and they may need to deliver your baby immediately. I was 30 weeks pregnant. My doctor informed me that I would probably have to deliver my baby between 34-36 weeks. This condition normally doesn't show up until around 36 weeks so when they have to do an early delivery you are already considered almost full term.
At the time I was told I would be delivering by 36 weeks at the latest but if they couldn't get my liver enzymes down hey would have to induce me immediately. While in the hospital I was given two steroid shots to help develop my son's lungs incase early arrival was my only option. They also started me on medication to try and get me better. Here is something I didn't mention, cholestasis is vey rare, it affects less than 1% of pregnant Canadians. So in the hospital I was an oddity. I was talked about because I had something they didn't see every day. I didnt mind though because it meant they were watching me and my baby closely as its something they didn't usually deal with so took no chances.
The medication worked! I was allowed I go home but was put on bed rest. We didn't know when I would have to deliver my baby but my liver enzymes dropping meant I could carry him longer and longer. I was going for blood work daily at first and by the end weekly.
At 35 weeks my enzymes were at a safe level and I was 1-2cm dilated on my own so my doctor said not to worry I would probably go into labor myself without being induced! I was so excited as I had been planning to have my baby by 36 weeks since I'd been in the hospital. The following week my baby still wasn't here so I thought ok I'm 36 weeks now they have to induce me! I was so excited to meet my baby and finally have him out where it seemed to be safer than inside. However my exam showed I was 2-3cm now so any day my doctor said. He was leaving on holidays in 3 days so I did everything I could find to get my baby out(except castor oil). Still nothing! My 37 week appointment I was 37w 5d so I was anxious.
At 38wks 4days I was full of so many emotions. I was nervous for my baby's health. I was excited I would soon get to hold him. I was frustrated because, thinking I was delivering at 36 weeks made me feel almost 3 weeks over due. My doctors replacement decided because of my anxiety he would do a membrane sweep. Just an FYI to anyone considering it, some women swear by this but know that it HURTS! Also in my case it didn't work My baby was supposed to be here already! My husband decided to go for a walk that night to try and coax our son out. OH MY GOODNESS! After about 10 blocks I got the worst stomach cramp I couldn't walk any further! It hurt so bad! My husband had to go home and get the car and even though I knew it wasn't labor we went to the hospital to get checked out.
Well at the hospital they were a little concerned I hadn't been booked in for an induction yet but did a no stress test and at 1am Friday they let me go home but asked that I come back Saturday for another no stress test. Saturday I was 38 weeks 6 days. Everything looked fine but the doctor on call said cholestasis made her nervous so she said they were going to induce me! FINALLY! Thank goodness I kept my baby bag in my car! I was soooo happy! They started the drugs to induce labor at 1045am and at 4:10 the next morning my son was finally here!
My little miracle rainbow baby had finally arrived. He was healthy beautiful and 7lb5oz of perfection.
He latched in the delivery room and I was able to breast fees right away. I know with everything I went through I'm lucky. I feel blessed every day to have my miracle. Him and his daddy mean the world to me. I wish that everyone could experience the kind of love I feel for my family.
I didn't have the easiest pregnancy, but it was easier than a lot of other people have it. Remember that pregnancy is only 9 months if your lucky. Enjoy the sleepless nights and the kicks because you miss it when its gone. ❤
For every mommy who complains about her pregnancy marks and discomfort there is another wishing she could experience it.
-Linda
Sunday, 12 February 2012
My fertility... or lack of
To start I should probably give a bit of history as it may explain some of my feelings towards things later on. Then again it may not.
At 15 I had to have a colposcopy to remove and test dormant cancer cells. This procedure was repeated again at 17 which resulted in laser surgery. In addition I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries at the age of 15. I was told there was a chance when I got older I would have a very hard time getting pregnant if I was able to at all. This was a devastating blow to me. I mean it would have been to almost any girl but while a lot of girls are thinking about becoming business woman, lawyers, singers or some other fabulous career that they may want to pursue in a few years the only thing I had known for certain was that I was so excited to one day be a mom. I knew at 16 I didn't want that to happen yet, I wasn't crazy, but one day I knew I wanted to be married and secure and be a mom. See my mom has 4 biological children to which I'm the oldest. But she also has 3 different baby daddy's and 4 step children from them! I love my mom but that is not the life I wanted for myself.
I met the man who would eventually become my husband later that year. I was 16 and he was 21 and I felt so cool having an older boyfriend with a car, a good job, and an apartment of his own. I loved him right away. He used to come by every night to spend time with me. I have a family that would give The young and the restless a run for their money so he would come and we would sit in his car out side my house and talk or drive around a bit. There was no way he was meeting my crazy family until I had him in love with me!
After 6 months of dating I was 17 and we were feeling pretty serious about each other. I had explained to him my condition so he knew. We had both talked about our hopes for the future and both wanted kids and marriage one day. He accepted things the way they were though. He said that there was always the option of adoption. If I hadn't already been head over heels in love with him, the acceptance would have done it.
-Linda
At 15 I had to have a colposcopy to remove and test dormant cancer cells. This procedure was repeated again at 17 which resulted in laser surgery. In addition I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries at the age of 15. I was told there was a chance when I got older I would have a very hard time getting pregnant if I was able to at all. This was a devastating blow to me. I mean it would have been to almost any girl but while a lot of girls are thinking about becoming business woman, lawyers, singers or some other fabulous career that they may want to pursue in a few years the only thing I had known for certain was that I was so excited to one day be a mom. I knew at 16 I didn't want that to happen yet, I wasn't crazy, but one day I knew I wanted to be married and secure and be a mom. See my mom has 4 biological children to which I'm the oldest. But she also has 3 different baby daddy's and 4 step children from them! I love my mom but that is not the life I wanted for myself.
I met the man who would eventually become my husband later that year. I was 16 and he was 21 and I felt so cool having an older boyfriend with a car, a good job, and an apartment of his own. I loved him right away. He used to come by every night to spend time with me. I have a family that would give The young and the restless a run for their money so he would come and we would sit in his car out side my house and talk or drive around a bit. There was no way he was meeting my crazy family until I had him in love with me!
After 6 months of dating I was 17 and we were feeling pretty serious about each other. I had explained to him my condition so he knew. We had both talked about our hopes for the future and both wanted kids and marriage one day. He accepted things the way they were though. He said that there was always the option of adoption. If I hadn't already been head over heels in love with him, the acceptance would have done it.
Skip forward 5 years. I'm 21 he's 26 and we are looking at trying to have a baby in a few years. I went to the doctor for help with my irregular periods. He told me that this was a side affect of my polycystic ovaries.
My doctor sent me for a lot of tests, one of which included a live X-ray of my uterus. The live X-ray showed that I had a polyp that needed to be removed and one of my fallopian tubes was blocked. My husbands sample showed he had a high count but low activity. All of this combined meant almost an impossibility of getting pregnant until some things were fixed. I was put on a waiting list for the procedure to remove the polyp and clean out my fallopian tube. The wait time was 18months! While we waited though we started trying. We knew the odds of conceiving ourselves was low but tried anyways. I didn't get pregnant. The frequent missed periods and ocean of negative pregnancy test results made for a hard year and a half. When my surgery finally came I was so thrilled! I was one step closer to possibly being a mommy!
I had my surgery in sept 2010, November that year I went for a check up and my doctor started me on clomid. The first month I still didn't ovulate so I had to increase my dose. The second month(jan 2011) SUCCESS!!! I was pregnant! I was so happy I couldn't believe it had finally happened! Since I was on a schedule I knew I was only 4 weeks so I told only a few close friends and some family. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound to check actual gestational age. I was 5w2d at that point I was even able to hear the heartbeat using the ultrasound. That had been the best day of my life so far. I loved that little flicker already.
However Brycen was born November 2011.
Now I know what you may be thinking pregnant in jan birth in nov? How did I have an 11month pregnancy. I didn't. On February 4, 2011 I miscarried my first baby at 6 weeks. That was the worst day of my life so far. I was devastated. I was crushed that I'd lost my baby. I was terrified I would never get pregnant again, I was heartbroken that I'd gone through all of that and couldn't carry it, I worried that I would always miscarry and never get to have a baby to raise. I was mad that all these 15 year old irresponsible girls could get pregnant and I couldn't. I was embarrassed that I would have to tell my friends who were so happy for me that I'd lost my baby. I was desperate to know if I would be able to get pregnant again. I couldn't stop crying. Nothing could dull the pain. I isn't leave my bed except for the bathroom for 48hours.
My doctor sent me for a lot of tests, one of which included a live X-ray of my uterus. The live X-ray showed that I had a polyp that needed to be removed and one of my fallopian tubes was blocked. My husbands sample showed he had a high count but low activity. All of this combined meant almost an impossibility of getting pregnant until some things were fixed. I was put on a waiting list for the procedure to remove the polyp and clean out my fallopian tube. The wait time was 18months! While we waited though we started trying. We knew the odds of conceiving ourselves was low but tried anyways. I didn't get pregnant. The frequent missed periods and ocean of negative pregnancy test results made for a hard year and a half. When my surgery finally came I was so thrilled! I was one step closer to possibly being a mommy!
I had my surgery in sept 2010, November that year I went for a check up and my doctor started me on clomid. The first month I still didn't ovulate so I had to increase my dose. The second month(jan 2011) SUCCESS!!! I was pregnant! I was so happy I couldn't believe it had finally happened! Since I was on a schedule I knew I was only 4 weeks so I told only a few close friends and some family. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound to check actual gestational age. I was 5w2d at that point I was even able to hear the heartbeat using the ultrasound. That had been the best day of my life so far. I loved that little flicker already.
However Brycen was born November 2011.
Now I know what you may be thinking pregnant in jan birth in nov? How did I have an 11month pregnancy. I didn't. On February 4, 2011 I miscarried my first baby at 6 weeks. That was the worst day of my life so far. I was devastated. I was crushed that I'd lost my baby. I was terrified I would never get pregnant again, I was heartbroken that I'd gone through all of that and couldn't carry it, I worried that I would always miscarry and never get to have a baby to raise. I was mad that all these 15 year old irresponsible girls could get pregnant and I couldn't. I was embarrassed that I would have to tell my friends who were so happy for me that I'd lost my baby. I was desperate to know if I would be able to get pregnant again. I couldn't stop crying. Nothing could dull the pain. I isn't leave my bed except for the bathroom for 48hours.
Through my grief of the loss of my baby, I had asked when I would be able to start trying again. My doctor told me that physically my body would be ready in 2 weeks but that emotionally I should wait 6 weeks.
There have been a lot of hard things I have had to go through to get to where I am today in many different aspects in my life. I feel that going through them has made me so much stronger and I think sometimes I appreciate what I have more than someone who hasn't had to work so hard for the ordinary things in their life.
Miscarriage and infant loss affects 1 in 4 women. I haddnt known anyone who had lost a baby before I lost mine. However the more I talk about it and am open about it I learn a lot of women have been through it. Talking about my loss I feel pays tribute to my baby. Some people thing because I got pregnant again right away I don't care about that baby. But the pain is still there. I don't regret anything because my angel gave my Brycen. But talking about it, gives me peace. It's showing my angel that I haven't forgotten them.
There have been a lot of hard things I have had to go through to get to where I am today in many different aspects in my life. I feel that going through them has made me so much stronger and I think sometimes I appreciate what I have more than someone who hasn't had to work so hard for the ordinary things in their life.
Miscarriage and infant loss affects 1 in 4 women. I haddnt known anyone who had lost a baby before I lost mine. However the more I talk about it and am open about it I learn a lot of women have been through it. Talking about my loss I feel pays tribute to my baby. Some people thing because I got pregnant again right away I don't care about that baby. But the pain is still there. I don't regret anything because my angel gave my Brycen. But talking about it, gives me peace. It's showing my angel that I haven't forgotten them.
If you are the 3/4 who haven't experienced pregnancy or infant loss, I am so happy for you. Try to cherish every moment. Every time you child is drawing in your walls with permenamt marker or screaming at the top of their lungs, every time I have to restrain from pulling your hair out, there is a woman out there desperately wishing she was in your shoes.
-Linda
About... The blog.. The writing... The author
When I first started this Blog I was a 24 year old first time mommy. Now I'm 26 and a mommy if two.
I could go on about myself such as saying I've struggled with fertility. I obsessively read parenting articles. I pick and choose of that what to believe. I love following mommies on twitter and am part of an online mommy group where I learn so many new things. I grew up poor, have 4 sisters and 4 brothers. Ect. I'll save some for other posts though because it's too much and complicated to have all at once.
I had originally intended this blog to be helpful hints that I learned along the journey of parenthood, and for a few posts that's what it can still be. But what I've discovered over the years is that I'm much more interested in writing about everything! Occasionally I vent, sometimes I write letters, other times I just share what's going on day to day. This has become sort of a mixed media journal of my life and thoughts.
Sone things may inspire you, others may have you shaking your head. My only goal is that you read and enjoy. I hope that one day my kids see this and understand my love for them and my perspective of our journey.
- Linda
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