I never knew how much a part of me that was until Jodi and I moved in together and he always got mad because I was "yelling" at him. I have worked very hard on myself since leaving home to try and stop with the you g, manage my anger.
Well this leads into parenting. I currently have a 2yo. I would have to say about 95% of the time he is good. He listens well for his age. But sometimes he doesn't. Today I done of his not so grey listening days. He was playing g with everything he knew he shouldn't. I was actively trying to engage him in other activities to distract him, but he was having none of it.
At one point Lucas was crying because he wanted mom, I was trying to make Brycen lunch and he was on the back of the couch flicking the lights on and off as well a batting my picture frames around to watch them swing. I put his lunch down and say him in time out. Calmly told him why he was in time out. Again he is newly two so I don't know how muh was absorbed but he knows he's not supposed to do those things.
It took almost everything I had to not yell. Trying to box my anger so when I pick him up I don't accidentally yank him by the arm instead and hurt him. Its hard work being a mommy!!
But then I saw this sweet picture and it brought me back. It calmed me down and helped me breathe. I finshef brycens lunch, say while he ate it and put him down for his nap.
I try really hard not to complain about Brycen. 1st I knew and expected it to be like this before I had him. 2nd he is such a good boy the majority of the time. He's 2, so he does 2 year old things. I make sure to remind myself of that as often as necessary. I didn't think it wouldn't be hard. I knew there were and are much more difficut challenges ahead.
I know that one day my kids are going to be grown up. In 10,15, 20 I am going to wish they were babies again. So I'm here breathing, taking one step at a time, and trying to enjoy my crooked unbroken picture frames. Being a mommy, the hard parts are exactly what I expected, crazy screaming toddlers running around sometimes without pants. But the good things, are even better than I could have dreamed. It is the most challenging and rewarding thing I've ever done.
I hope that if you are having a tough day that reading this will help you know you're not alone ❤️ We all hve tough moments, days, and weeks.
