Bed rest again

Well I've been making an effort to write every few days. I have had a lot going on an am not sure what to talk about other than what I've been going through the past few weeks.

Well as of today I am 25 weeks pregnant with my second baby.

Since about 21 weeks I have been feeling itchy like I did with my first. I was pretty sure my cholestasis was back so when I had my dr appt last week I told him. He sent me for blood work which I went for on Sunday. 

As I suspected the cholestasis is back. Knowing something is going to happen doesn't always prepare you for when it does. I got a call at 815am Tuesday while taking a breakfast break at work. I was told my bile acid levels were elevated again and I needed to make my way to the hospital. 

I was terrified. I knew it was coming but I started shaking a little and my heart started racing. Cholestasis is a rare pregnancy condition this increases the bile acid in your blood. It left untreated it can lead to premature labor or still birth. Even with medication you and the baby need to be monitored on a very regular basis to make sure that everything still looks good because there is a possibility that your bile can spike again and cause a still birth. 

The most common noticeable symptom is being itchy. By that I don't mean a little itch once in a while. I'm talking about cant sleep, breaking skin, think you're going crazy and being tortured kind of itch. 

I try to be positive. And because its so rare no one I know has heard of cholestasis. What this leads to is people find out I'm on bed rest they say "but aren't you just itchy" 

NO! I don't want to be dramatic so I smile and say that I'm on medication to help things but its a very serious condition. When in reality I want to scream "this is a condition that could potentially kill my baby if I'm not careful enough so no I'm not just itchy" again Idon't  say the later because I don't want to be one of "those girls".

Back to my story... 

So I went to the hospital I spend 6hours there. I barely saw anyone but the nurses and the resident doctor once. I was given a prescription for URSO, an appointment with the specialist the following week and sent on my way. 

No follow up blood work was done and no requisition form was given. I knew this was wrong so I called my doctors office on my way home at 3pm knowing his office closes at 4. The receptionist answered and I said;

1) I believe dr M will want to see me again sooner than my appt in 2 weeks.

2) I need a requisition for blood work

3) I need to know if I am on bed rest. Last time I was put on bed rest immediately so I am unsure if the same will happen.

She told me she would talk to the dr and call me back. I waited all day Wednesday and heard nothing. 

By Thursday I was mad. I'd been on medication since Tuesday night but I hadn't had any blood work done since Sunday! I called back and asked for a requisition form for blood work. Screw the bed rest and the second appt I could deal with that once I knew my baby was ok. The same receptionist I talked to Tuesday passed me back to the nurse who said she would get the blood work form ready and send it to my clinic for me to pick up there. 

5 min later she called back. I was told that I shouldn't have been released from the hospital! Dr M had given specific instructions that I was supposed to be kept! So I told her I take it I shouldn't be at work then? She said shed call back.

I had about 4-5 calls over the next 20 minutes ending with her telling me I am officially on bed rest, go get my blood work done and I had a follow up appt the next week. She wasn't rude but gave me all the info is asked for in the first place. 

I had been in a meeting with my boss when she called and so my boss hear the whole conversation. That helped a little with the blow that I was leaving even though they had no replacement even hired or trained at all for my position. I work a corporate job that not just anyone can do. It's a big deal that I was pulled early and part of me hates that even unintentionally I let people down who counted on me. But at the same time know that what's important is keeping this little boy inside me safe and protected. 

I am worried all the time. My husband is worried to so I can't talk to him about it because nothing we can say will change what is. It's easier to just know and try and think positive. When my friends heard I was coming home from the hospital they said "we'll I'm glad you and baby are ok". Truth is we are but for now, there is still a possibility that things could end horribly and I have to make a huge effort to not think about that. However eery time someone says "glad you're ok" it comes slamming back into my gut. This is just something ill need to deal with over the next 13 weeks. 

I know that because we discovered it and I am on medication and being monitored my chances of a perfectly healthy baby are very high. But as anyone who has ever carried a baby that possibility of something out of your control happening to your baby is absolutely terrifying. 

Thanks for the vent. 

Hopefully I'll be able to get back to my old self next week and keep posting my opinions. :) 

Our decisions are our own

I am not perfect, this blog allows me to express my opinions openly. Some times I may say things that offend people and for that I am sorry. My opinions and suggestions are my own. I have done a lot of research but there are things that I don't know. As per the below I will try and be more conscious of other people's choices and decisions while still expressing my opinions and decisions and why I made them.

I am part of a few mommy groups on different social media sites. 

Last night one of the sites blew up over circumcision. For or against doesn't matter to me. Your sons penis has nothing to do with me and my sons penis has nothing to do with you. My point is some of these moms were very abrupt and rude, discouraging an insulting to one another. 

I have seen both sides and get where people are coming from but we as mommies need to be supporting not attacking one another. We are trying to raise the best possible little people we can. Teaching them to bash and name call when they don't agree with someone else I don't believe is setting the example we want them to follow. Whether your a "crunchy mom" or an "urban mom" or somewhere in between we really new to step back and give each other a break! 

Every single one of us has had to make decisions on behalf of our children. Some do research, some don't, some listen to only family and some do things in spite of family. But all of us have one thing in common.. We are doing what we as parents think is right. 

I have a LOT of mommy friends and 3/4 of my sisters are moms. I don't always agree with their decisions as parents, I'm positive they don't all agree with my decisions. But the fact is they are our decisions to make. We respect ourselves and each other enough to keep our mouths shut. Unless someone I know is directly harming their child it is my job as their friend/sister to SUPPORT them and their decisions. 

I even have friends where we share articles on what to and to not do as parents. We take them at face value and if interested do more of our own research past that. We know that we aren't putting each other down we are just sharing information. 

There are MANY different hot topics of discussion and its hard when you can often be on different sides of a fence about a subject. My point is be respectful. You don't have to agree but as a mommy and adult I think we need to move past the bashing and name calling.

Whether you circumcised or not,

Formula fed or breast fed,

Approve or disapprove of routine immunization,

Co-sleep or not.

As long as your baby is your first priority in these decisions I think you are doing an amazing job!! Keep up the good work mama and continue to support those around you. :)